(2) Elsewhere submission is specifically called for, but here it is required by inference. This is why obedience to Christ’s commands can only be done through His power. What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate.”, To the woman he said, “I will surely multiply your pain in childbearing; in pain you shall bring forth children. What are you doing, son of my womb? Paul likewise warns husbands of bitterness (Colossians 3:19). And if I have prophetic powers, and understand all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have all faith, so as to remove mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. John to the seven churches that are in Asia: Grace to you and peace from him who is and who was and who is to come, and from the seven spirits who are before his throne, and from Jesus Christ the faithful witness, the firstborn of the dead, and the ruler of kings on earth. Likewise, wives, be subject to your own husbands, so that even if some do not obey the word, they may be won without a word by the conduct of their wives, when they see your respectful and pure conduct. She opens her hand to the poor and reaches out her hands to the needy. Whose prayers are hindered? Copyright ©2001 by Crossway Bibles, a publishing ministry of Good News Publishers. If our relation-ship with others is strained, it would seem to create problems in our relationship with God (see Matthew 6:14-15). So God blessed the seventh day and made it holy, because on it God rested from all his work that he had done in creation. ‣ He who loves his wife loves himself. Strength and dignity are her clothing, and she laughs at the time to come. Perhaps more than at any other time in history, women today need a clear understanding of how they should relate to their husbands. The husband is not to submit to his wife in the sense of subordinating himself to her authority, but he is to submit to her in the sense that he highly values her and subordinates his selfish interests to her well-being. Peter instructs Christian husbands to follow the example of the Lord Jesus Christ, the ultimate “Suffering Servant” (1 Peter 2:21-25). (King James Version). One way a wife can make her husband suffer is by being unsubmissive—contentious. ... And now, my daughter, do not fear. P But it is very interesting that Paul does not speak of the sexual union between a husband and his wife only in terms of the wife’s submission to her husband, but rather in terms of the mutual submission of both the husband and the wife. 108 Paul does the same thing. There Paul instructs us concerning our conduct in relationship to a “weaker brother.” A weaker brother is one who does not understand the Scriptures so well as to understand certain areas of personal liberty. They feel as if somehow they lose their identity and their freedom if they adhere to some type of outdated standard. She does him good, and not harm, all the days of her life. She opens her mouth with wisdom, and the teaching of kindness is on her tongue. I believe I can safely say that where these truths are understood and obeyed, no Christian marriage should fail. Knowledge of God distinguishes Christian love from pagan lust. She is far more precious than jewels. There is no precedent for same-sex marriage⦠This is her position as a “fellow heir of the grace of life.” I do not understand Peter to be talking about a husband and wife sharing physical life here, but rather to be talking about spiritual life. So far as what awaits Christian husbands and wives, there is no difference in heaven. He lives with his wife at the deepest level of intimacy, and thus the weaknesses of the wife will be most apparent to him. Paul even more pointedly points to the way in which our Lord’s love for His church is to be the pattern for the husband’s relationship with his wife: 22 Wives, [be subject] to your own husbands, as to the Lord. But in eternity it will not be this way at all. For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior. 29 But this I say, brethren, the time has been shortened, so that from now on those who have wives should be as though they had none; 30 and those who weep, as though they did not weep; and those who rejoice, as though they did not rejoice; and those who buy, as though they did not possess; 31 and those who use the world, as though they did not make full use of it; for the form of this world is passing away (1 Corinthians 7:29-31). My wife and I have counseled a number of couples preparing for marriage, but only recently have I begun to warn husbands to be careful to use their authority in such a way as not to force or pressure their wives to do something contrary to her convictions. In the Christian faith, the strong employ their strength in such a way as to edify the weak: 14 Now we who are strong ought to bear the weaknesses of those without strength and not [just] please ourselves (Romans 15:1; see also 1 Thessalonians 5:14). 8 And being found in appearance as a man, He humbled Himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross (Philippians 2:4-8). The honoring of one’s wife was foreign to that culture, as it is in our day. in 1971. Are these the prayers of the husbands, of the wives, of husbands and wives separately, or of husbands and wives together? 16 [Act] as free men, and do not use your freedom as a covering for evil, but [use it] as bondslaves of God. ‣ It certainly can happen, for the Bible indicates the wife can make life miserable for her husband. 12 And so, as those who have been chosen of God, holy and beloved, put on a heart of compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience; 13 bearing with one another, and forgiving each other, whoever has a complaint against anyone; just as the Lord forgave you, so also should you. It does fall into the same word group. ‣ Elsewhere when children are instructed to obey their parents, parents are likewise exhorted concerning their responsibilities. And walk in love, as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us, a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God. Peter instructs husbands to “dwell with” their wives according to knowledge. And so train the young women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled, pure, working at home, kind, and submissive to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be reviled. The “weakness” of the wife is the context for the husband’s servanthood. Genesis 2:24. Only the husband who has the “mind of Christ” will, like Christ, persistently seek to serve his wife at the cost of personal sacrifice. Husbands, in the same way be considerate as you live with your wives and treat them with respect as the weaker partner and as heirs with you of the gracious gift of life, so that nothing will hinder your prayers (NIV). The wisest of women builds her house, but folly with her own hands tears it down. Nowhere is the husband specifically called upon to be silent. Sometimes it is not help that is needed, but admonition. Not only is the husband to live with his wife according to knowledge, he is also instructed to grant honor to his wife. Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It has been about twenty years since that gathering, and to my knowledge no more than one of these couples is still together. Bob was born and raised in a Christian home i... More, 4. An excellent wife who can find? She dresses herself with strength and makes her arms strong. 9 “And I say to you, whoever divorces his wife, except for immorality, and marries another woman commits adultery.” 10 The disciples *said to Him, “If the relationship of the man with his wife is like this, it is better not to marry.” 11 But He said to them, “Not all men [can] accept this statement, but [only] those to whom it has been given. Third, I understand the term “knowledge” to refer, first and foremost, to the knowledge which comes to believers from the Scriptures rather than from other sources. There are three commonly held beliefs about what constitutes a marriage in the eyes of God: The couple is married in the eyes of God when the physical union is consummated through sexual intercourse. So I would have younger widows marry, bear children, manage their households, and give the adversary no occasion for slander. But because of different lifestyles, interests, personalities, and viewpoints, or some trifling family matters, conflicts will happen and spouses 105 The first term, “true knowledge,” is not the exact term, but the same root with an intensifying prefix. I believe this is what Paul refers to in 1 Corinthians 7. For a short time the wife is subject to her husband in this life. And so train the young women to love their husbands and children. Answer: Physical intimacy is part of Godâs normal plan for marriage, and a husband and wife have a responsibility to meet each otherâs needs in this area (1 Corinthians 7:2â4). (8) Elsewhere, submission is called for on the part of a subordinate to his or her superior. Q ‣ 25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself up for her; 26 that He might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, 27 that He might present to Himself the church in all her glory, having no spot or wrinkle or any such thing; but that she should be holy and blameless. The goal of Christ’s suffering was our salvation (1 Peter 2:21-25). First, it is my conviction that the text is best explained and applied as rendered in its most strictly literal fashion. If we were keenly aware of them, they would not be the problem they are. pp. 1 Timothy 5:8 - But if anyone does not provide for his own, and especially for those of his household, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever. Some unique features of Peter’s instructions to husbands in verse 7 need to be recognized: (1) This is the only instance in Peter’s discussion of submission thus far in which a reciprocal obligation is specified. Barnesâ Bible Charts A Wifeâs Obligations to Her Husband LOVE HER HUSBAND ⢠Titus 2:5 BE THE KEEPER OF THE HOME ⢠Titus 2:5 HER DESIRE BE TO HER HUSBAND ⢠Genesis 3:16 NOT USURP AUTHORITY OVER HER I therefore seem to differ with Edmund Clowney’s emphasis, but not in a way that rejects the point he makes: “Does Peter mean knowledge of the wife, or knowledge of God and his calling? The husband should give to his wife her conjugal rights, and likewise the wife to her husband. Let us minister to true needs, to the good of our mate, and to the glory of God. We are to live together according to knowledge: 9 For this reason also, since the day we heard [of it], we have not ceased to pray for you and to ask that you may be filled with the knowledge of His will in all spiritual wisdom and understanding, 10 so that you may walk in a manner worthy of the Lord, to please [Him] in all respects, bearing fruit in every good work and increasing in the knowledge of God (Colossians 1:9-10; see Ephesians 4:1-24). But if anyone does not provide for his relatives, and especially for members of his household, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever. Paul does the same thing in Ephesians 5:22-33. It ought to be approached from a joyous, yet cautiously-solemn, vantage point. E Z. Second, there are two principle verbs (actually they are participles) in this verse, and I understand them to provide the two main points of emphasis. The term “vessel” is used in various ways. The close connection with the description of the wife as the weaker partner favors the specific sense: the husband must dwell with his wife as one who knows her needs, who recognizes the delicacy of her nature and feelings. If you don’t do this, you will find it impossible to pray properly (Phillips). How then does the husband honor his wife as the weaker vessel? Fifth, I understand that this verse indicates the wife in view is a Christian and that the prayers referred to are the prayers of the husband and the wife.101. The husband should not endeavor to “use” his headship over his wife for his own fulfillment or satisfaction but should use it as a means of serving his wife. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands. by Matt Slick5/16/15 There is nothing in the Scripture that says that every single individual Christian must get married and have children. Thus, the mystery of the gospel (Ephesians 3) is the knowledge which instructs us concerning Christian marriage. It is one thing for a husband to be a servant to his wife by knowing and ministering to the weaknesses of his wife; it is quite another for her to expect and even demand that he “meet her needs,” as she defines them. Marriage by Godâs design is the union of one man and one woman. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; ... And I say to you: whoever divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another, commits adultery.”. Perhaps, they reasoned, it would be better not to enter into marriage if Jesus’ view of marriage was the standard. The bodies of a husband and wife belong to each other. If any woman has a husband who is an unbeliever, and he consents to live with her, she should not divorce him. Peter’s instructions to us as husbands requires that we first have a personal relationship with Him who suffered and died on our behalf (1 Peter 2:21-25). In Matthew 19:4-6, Jesus refers to Old But from the beginning of creation, ‘God made them male and female.’ ‘Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.’ So they are no longer two but one flesh. The example set for all is the Lord Jesus Christ who is the model Suffering Servant (2:21b-25). First, we are to live with our wives in the knowledge that we are to subordinate our own selfish desires to the benefit and blessing of our wives, as Christ did for the Church. He who is able to accept [this,] let him accept [it.”] (Matthew 19:3-12). The Daily Study Bible Series. May God grant that all of us would seek to live toward one another as Peter has directed Christian husbands to live in relationship to their wives, to His glory, and for our ultimate good. Isaiah 62:5 appears to merge the idea of taking a wife and consummating it with a sexual union. Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. Matthew 5:32 - But I say unto you, That whosoever shall put away his wife, saving for the cause of fornication, causeth her to commit adultery: and whosoever shall marry her that is divorced committeth adultery. In such cases the brother or sister is not enslaved. P. 224. (3) In what sense is the wife a “weaker vessel”? ‣ 2 Bear one another’s burdens, and thus fulfill the law of Christ (Galatians 6:1-2). Amen (2 Peter 3:18). Let us seek to minister to true weakness, but let us also remember that this is but one aspect of our responsibility to others. 133-134. ‣ (6) Elsewhere, the goal is a public witness to the proclamation of the excellencies of Him who called us to the unbelievers who behold our submission in the midst of suffering. I wish that all were as I myself am. B Now I commend you because you remember me in everything and maintain the traditions even as I delivered them to you. For the unbelieving husband is made holy because of his wife, and the unbelieving wife is made holy because of her husband. Be imitators of me, as I am of Christ. 106 Some go too far in this. Although the Levirate marriage provides some measure of economic and social security for the widow, she is forced into a marriage to fulfill a marital obligation (to have children). That is why they are weaknesses; they are blind spots. 30 “For in the resurrection they neither marry, nor are given in marriage, but are like angels in heaven (Matthew 22:29-30). Top Christian theologians offer their perspectives on ⦠12 “For there are eunuchs who were born that way from their mother’s womb; and there are eunuchs who were made eunuchs by men; and there are [also] eunuchs who made themselves eunuchs for the sake of the kingdom of heaven. Marriage is to be a human object lesson of the divine relationship between Christ and believers. The same principle seems evident in relation to spiritual gifts. Both husbands and wives are “vessels” and while the man is “weak” the woman is the “weaker” of the two. The husband does have authority over his wife’s body, but so also the wife has authority over his body. Rather than demanding honor from his wife, he should grant honor to her. And God blessed them. Instead, He became the servant and the Savior of men: 4 Do not [merely] look out for your own personal interests, but also for the interests of others. 2 Let each of us please his neighbor for his good, to his edification (Romans 15:1-2). This is not to say the relationship between a husband and his wife is entirely governed by mutual submission, so that the headship of the husband over his wife is denied or nullified. ‣ Or how do you know, husband, whether you will save your wife? Visit the Bible online to search for words if you don’t know the specific passage your’re looking for. All Scripture quotations, unless otherwise indicated, are taken from The Holy Bible, English Standard Version. In fact, the significant social changes brought about by the womens liberation movement over the last few decades have led to such confusion that the very idea of roles is repugnant to some. Regardless of the “suffering” a husband might think he endures at the hand (or tongue) of his wife, Peter says, “stay with her.”. Iâll try to clarify the Jewish tradition, base on the Hebrew Bible: 1. Likewise the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does. Limits on sexual pleasure God reserves sexual relations for marriage mates only, as Hebrews 13:4 shows: âLet marriage be honorable among all, and the marriage bed be without defilement, for God will judge fornicators and adulterers.â She considers a field and buys it; with the fruit of her hands she plants a vineyard. For they say, “His letters are weighty and strong, but his personal presence is unimpressive [literally, weak], and his speech contemptible” (2 Corinthians 10:10). So the husband honors his wife as the weaker vessel by seeking to exalt and elevate her. Its most common use is in reference to a man living with a woman as his wife (Genesis 20:3).100 Sometimes there is a more specific reference to sexual intercourse between a husband and his wife (Deuteronomy 22:13; 25:5b). And God said to them, “Be fruitful and multiply and fill the earth and subdue it and have dominion over the fish of the sea and over the birds of the heavens and over every living thing that moves on the earth.”. Do not deprive one another, except perhaps by agreement for a limited time, that you may devote yourselves to prayer; but then come together again, so that Satan may not tempt you because of your lack of self-control. She is far more precious than jewels. Loving God and loving men sums up the Old Testament Law (see Matthew 22:34-40). Related Topics: Christian Home, Marriage, Men's Articles, Women, Robert L. (Bob)Deffinbaugh graduated from Dallas Theological Seminary with his Th.M. ‣ This, in my opinion, is a secondary matter, while biblical knowledge is primary. 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